Oral History with Tobias Quaranta, June 23, 2015 (Ms2015-007)

TRANSCRIPT: TOBIAS QUARANTA

Date of Interview: June 25rd, 2015 Interviewer: Megan Lee Myklegard Place of

Interview: Salesforce Tower Length: 40:17 Transcribers: Megan Lee Myklegard

Megan Lee Myklegard: Hello this is Megan Myklegard it's June 25th, 2015 we are

at the Salesforce Tower on 50 Fremont. I'm here with Toby, would you like to

introduce yourself?

Tobias Quaranta: Sure, my name is Tobias Quaranta, but everyone calls me Toby and

I'm an account executive with the Salesforce foundation. I graduated from

Virginia Tech a PoliSci major class of 2006.

MYKLEGARD: Awesome, so can you tell us your date of birth, place of birth, and

then tell us a little bit about how you were raised up until college?

QUARANTA: Sure, I was born on January 27th, 1984 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I

don't remember Florida. My parents met in New York and my father moved to

Northern Virginia to run a car dealership. He bounce around a little bit in

between and we— I just happened to be born in Florida. How I was raised— 00:01:00 you

know this isn't like, I don't get to talk about this stuff very often so I guess

I'll just dive right on in. I mean who asks you right? Who says like "Tell me

how you were raised." I don't know, both my parents worked. My mom worked at

Sallie Mae as an administrator, my father did a car dealership until I was maybe

nine and then started running a very small vending machine company. So soda

machines, chocolate a lot of chocolate. [pauses] [laughs] Gosh, he um he ended

up going to jail when I was in high school, he was running

drugs behind that company. It was really a shell company. I mean he was in fact

like— there were vending machines and there was chocolate, but think

Walter White and his 00:02:00uh you know, what does he have? Car wash, right? Yeah, a

lot of cash easy to move money, like that. Big trucks with boxes, moving up and

down highways it made a lot of sense. Um so, that was when I was in high school.

My mom I think when she found out, that's probably why she left. She became a

right wing born again Christian and I came out right around the same time that

my father was, uh leaving. So it was a very interesting upbringing. Virginia

Tech was as far away from home as I could get while staying in state. So you

know I grew up with two very different and very interesting households,

probably very extreme sides of any spectrum you'd put em on. I don't know. What

other questions? I mean I don't know that's just very general I guess, but I

ended up going to Virginia 00:03:00Tech. It appealed to me being a big school,

it was but really it was mostly that it was far away.

MYKLEGARD: How did it feel growing up knowing that your mom was conservative?

Did that make you uncomfortable in terms of your identity?

QUARANTA: Uncomfortable? I mean, they sent me to reparative therapy so I guess

my virtue of her being conservative and making that decision then yes. I was

probably uncomfortable about it. It was a long time ago I guess I could say that

yeah sure I was probably more angry than uncomfortable. I think everyone whose—

yeah everyone growing up is uncomfortable with themselves or at least I hope so

I mean. I certainly was. But I think I was, I think being gay and being the only 00:04:00out gay kid at Herndon and having a parent who was vociferously opposed to that

part of me it just added a layer of discomfort. But it wasn't really uncomfort

or discomfort with myself it was more discomfort with my situation. The

awkwardness of you know, having something gay come up on a TV show and everyone

you know stiffening up and not wanting to talk about it. But no I'd say that

that the discomfort was more with the situation then then myself.

MYKLEGARD: When did you start the like coming out process?

QUARANTA: You know it's funny, I was— I remember sort of events and you know

everything in amber right it's hard to really know what was what and what you

remember it being. You know I remember distinctly having a crush on

guys in my peer group in my age group, but 00:05:00not really identifying it as such.

Not really saying like "Oh, I have a crush on this guy." Or whatever. I remember

watching [phone dings] I'm sorry let me turn that off.

MYKLEGARD: It's okay.

QUARANTA: Watching a [sighs]— I did theatre in high school and we went to the

cappies, k. It's the sort of awards show for all the other high school theatres

and it was— one of the other school's was performing a number from their show

Anything Goes and one of the dancers, I was watching him. And I'm in the seats

and watching him like I'm feeling like something towards this guy. And I just

can't put words to it, I wanna be his friend? I just, I remember really it set

my brain down this path and it was like I had shut a door behind me and I wasn't

ever going back. I don't know how else to describe it, it was sophomore year I 00:06:00was 15 and that summer I went to UVA summer enrichment program, SEP UVA SEP. and

there was another kid who was clearly going through the same thing I was, and we

bonded we were our own tiny little group and um, and yeah and that summer I

wrote down in my journal for the, like I wrote down "I think I'm gay." And that

fall I just told everybody cause I'm not good at keeping things in. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs]

QUARANTA: So, yeah.

MYKLEGARD: When you got to Tech, did you seek out a community of LGBT?

QUARANTA: Oh, absolutely. Right away. I remember going down to orientation and

being like "Oh my God, please let there be another gay" and I didn't find one I

was so upset. I actually was kind of disappointed, when I got to Tech I

made some quick friends who were gay, but I really thought there should've

been more like I went to the LGBTA meeting 00:07:00and— you know Curtis Don— and was a

freshman and Grant Otto was a freshman, Michael Sutfin was a freshman, although I

don't think he came to that first meeting. But I was looking around and I was

like "There should be more of us." You know that first meeting there were maybe

like, maybe 100 people. I'm like "There are 25,000 students on this campus,

where the hell are the gays?" and I'm like "I didn't leave Herndon for this."

And maybe I should've felt like, you know, I mean it's not like I was going to New York City

or something. But I was like "C'mon guys." So um yeah, I

immediately sought it out. You know this was at the time where you know— and I

don't know how young you are you look pretty young— this was pre-iPhone.

I mean I didn't have a phone my freshmen year, I didn't have a cell phone so I

mean that's sort of the time we were in. 00:08:00so there wasn't, Grindr wasn't a way

that people got in touch with each other Tindr, or whatever the kids are using

these days. But uh, or Kik or Snapchat, Hipchat I don't know.

MYKLEGARD: [laughs]

QUARANTA: But I think gay.com was actually, was a pretty common way that people

got in touch with each other and I think that they used that to circumvent

having to be, out in public as a homosexual. Or something resembling a

homosexual, something resembling, on the path to being a— but I

definitely sought it out I was never really good behind a computer I was always

better in front, so the LGBTA was really my outlet for it.

MYKLEGARD: What was your favorite experience while you were in the club?

QUARANTA: With LGBTA specifically?

MYKLEGARD: Mhm.

QUARANTA: You know, I was a bad LGBTA member. You know, I think okay 00:09:00yeah, yeah

I could prob I'd say uh I forget which brilliant human being it was that brought

the N 64 to the LGBTA office, but whoever it was, just. Squires had all

the organizational offices up on the top floor and for every single one of these

offices it was just a physical place to keep stuff, but for the LGBTA it was where

we hung out. There was a couch in there, you know the chair the books the little

library and then the N 64. So the student leadership from other

organizations who went to you know, the IFC office or the—oh gosh, the Asian

America Student Alliance, I think what was their acronym? ASSA— they

would, the leadership would put their stuff down in their office and then come

to our office. So I remember one time walking in to the LGBTA office, I was

office manager for a year and putting my stuff down and seeing, you

know sitting there playing Mario Kart, two gays and two of these

big frat boys from like the IFC just sitting 00:10:00in the office in the N 64 just

hanging out and it was just a really cool little moment. I'd say all of those

little moments in the office were probably my favorite. And then, Virginia Out

which is a conference we used to do— I don't know if it still goes on. It was a

coalition of me, me and a guy named Justin Wincouzci. I don't know if you've

interviewed him yet, nice guy he lives out here now. We dated all through

college, didn't talk to each other for years, ran into each other on the street

in the Castro. Virginia Out was sort of an annual conference basically for LGBT

student associations. And it was really a fun time. It was, you know I mean

getting to meet strange new homosexuals was always like something that gay men

have excelled at and I just loved it. So we hosted a conference in '04, it was at

ODU in '03 and those I think were probably my favorites.

MYKLEGARD: Was LGBTA the only organization you were a part of for the community

or what other?

QUARANTA: So I was the LGBTA's representative to SGA and that's actually,

that was really my only, I guess tangible connection to the LGBTA after

my freshman year and I was part of the young democrats. I was an officer in

Virginia Tech young dems for a long time. I think for almost all four years I

was an officer in YD. And I was a brother in Delta Tau Delta. So I mean LGBTA on

my sort of list of active organizations was closer to the bottom of the pack. I

have always been an out and proud gay man and I will never shy away

from the fact that I am overly gay. But uh, I just liked the activities

in other organizations more.

MYKLEGARD: How was being in a fraternity in terms of your sexuality?

QUARANTA: It was a blast.

MYKLEGARD: Did it come up often?

QUARANTA: Yeah mostly in jokes, but fun like good, good-natured jokes. You know

there weren't any other, no one had rushed as an openly gay pledge in any

organization at Virginia Tech in any fraternal organization. Some brothers of

Delta Sig or other places had come out after accepting a bid. I put down Cyrus

Mastageem who was an RA in the building next to mine who was like "Toby should come

out to Delta Tau Delta" and I was like "Alright fine, but I'm making sure they

know I'm gay." I don't think that they knew that Cyrus was gay, I don't know how

anyone doesn't know that Cyrus is gay, but anyway the point is that you know I

was very up front with it. I was a loose, maybe overly aggressive "By the way,

I'm totally gay. I hope you're cool with that." And they were like "Yeah.

Whatever." And I was like "Huh?" And none of the fraternities on campus I think 00:11:00would've been, reacted in such a way. It came up a bit, but it was just another

thing. You know.

MYKLEGARD: Yeah. Did you feel comfortable in the Blacksburg community as a

whole? Like when you were dating people did you feel okay walking down the

street holding hands? Or did you ever have any negative experiences with that?

QUARANTA: Never had a negative experience at VT. Which was really awesome. Here in San Francisco

I've had you know, people in trucks call me names

and I'm just like "What?" right? You're like "Huh?" but in Blacksburg, never not

once. I don't think I could remember, yeah I don't think I can remember an

experience. Yeah.

MYKLEGARD: How would you compare Blacksburg, the way you feel there, to the way

you feel in San Francisco? In terms of acceptance.

QUARANTA: You know I think that there, you know Blacksburg is such— it's 25,000

kids in a cornfield I mean it's— there's not no real outside influence

in Blacksburg right? You know, if you wanna go to a gay club you have to drive

45 minutes and you're going to, oh God, The Park which is a cinder block in the

middle of a crappy city. I mean, I'd say that Blacksburg,

because it is such a college town, is just an experience like none other. There

are very few college towns that are just college towns. Tallahassee, college

town, but it's still the seat of the government. Gainesville, more like

Blacksburg. But I mean Charlottesville, there's still a little bit more to

Charlottesville than UVA. Blacksburg is Virginia Tech. So compare that to here,

you know a lot of competing interests in humans minds. When they walk down, any

human walking down the street. You 00:12:00will never have anything quite like the

Tenderloin in Blacksburg, Virginia right? But, um, so how would I compare it?

I'd say that in terms of acceptance, excellent great. The straight people here

and the straight people there are of the same mind when it comes to the gays.

But I mean, Blacksburg certainly in so far as the scene, parties, the ability to

go have fun with your fellow you know homosexual— that Blacksburg left a little

bit to be wanted.

MYKLEGARD: Who would you say your main clique was while you were at Virginia Tech?

QUARANTA: Um, probably just my boyfriend at the time. Um, I've always been a

little bit of a loner. Probably why I had multiple groups. Lot of friends in

those groups, but 00:13:00close friends? You know it changed year to year. Freshmen year

was different than sophomore year, was different than junior year, I'd say

they're some friends I'm [sigh]— The friends who I've kept in closest contact

with, the ones I would, you know if they— "Hey, why don't you come visit me in

whatever city they're in?" You know, tended to come from the SGA crowd. Just

because I think we were all on the same page of what we wanted to do with our

lives and we were going. And my fraternity. But with the, I'd say probably Brett

Keener, Ryan Stack Clarke, Michael Levi Smith, you know David Mae, those guys

was probably the ones I would willingly go spend— like I would try and

do something with I would try and organize something with within the gay

community. When it was just myself, Justin lived in Northern Virginia my junior

and senior 00:14:00year so I spent a lot of time going up to NOVA and just spending time

with him. And that was what kids do when they don't realize what kind

of experience they're missing out on. In retrospect perhaps I missed out on a

lot by doing that. You know Grant Otto, Michael Suffin, Heather Black like those

are the kids I hung out freshmen, sophomore year probably. Gosh I haven't

thought about this in a long time. Um, but really I'd say my YD friends, my

young dems friends, my SGA friends, and my um, I don't think— I think I had one

of my gay friends from college at my wedding. The others were from my fraternity

and from YDA or SGA.

MYKLEGARD: When you were thinking of places to go after Tech, did you keep in

mind what ever city you were going to, how you would feel as a member of the LGBT community?

QUARANTA: No, I've never really given a good gosh darn about

what other people thought of me. I'm me if you don't like me move on

because there are a lot of other people right? Like I mean I think I've, I've

either just kind of exhibited that from my earliest ascensions into

adulthood. You know in high school, which I guess you can barely call adulthood,

but I guess it's the training route, right? Yeah, no one else was gay and some

people were really mean and I threw it back in their face and I wore a

boa to school and I would do outlandish things just to sort of push the envelope

a little bit. Maybe I do care a little bit more about how people think, perceive

me that I— than I might give credence to, but I wouldn't prefer to make them

see things my way. So no, I don't think I really cared about what D.C at large

would think of me being a gay person or San Francisco. No. And I think I pretty

much knew how they would feel about me anyway.

MYKLEGARD: You mentioned the boa, when you went into college did 00:15:00you feel like

in terms of the way you presented yourself, you kind of thought about letting

people know that you were part of the LGBT community other than just saying it?

QUARANTA: Mmm, uh. Has anyone talked to you about wear jeans if you're gay day?

MYKLEGARD: [shakes head]

QUARANTA: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh this is such a thing so— The idea behind wear

jeans if you're gay day was when you wake up in the morning, if you're a gay

person you have to think about how you're presenting yourself in every single

way if you're openly gay you have to think about how you reflect on the

community as a whole, right? As politically, at the time a

politically oppressed, I mean gay sex was illegal in Virginia when we were kids.

So you always had to think about it, if you were in the closet you had to think

"Does this make me look gay?" And straight people, they don't 00:16:00know. They don't

think about that. They're putting on their sweatshirts, I mean you've seen the

straight boys right? Like they don't give a good God damn. But you know, so I

loved the idea behind wear jeans if you're gay day because it forced straight

people to think and feel that kind of horror when you know "Oh my gosh, I'm

wearing jeans and I'm a straight man I didn't know that it was wear jeans if

you're gay day! I don't want people to think I'm gay I've gotta go back to my

place and change right now!" They never had to think about that. That was a

challenge that straight people on the whole never have to experience because of

their sexuality. So it was a brilliant idea I loved it. But people, straights

started complaining, which was the point and so the leadership of LGBTA was like

wear jeans if you support gay rights day and then it became a referendum and it

lost it's point. You know the point of the whole fucking thing was to make

people have to feel uncomfortable, as uncomfortable as I did when I walked out

the door or as uncomfortable as I did when I walked past— walked past

the gigantic Cru, crusade for Christ events and thinking "Uh, I don't know what

they think about me, I don't even 00:17:00wanna, I don't even wanna think about what

they think about me." That discomfort was something that was only possible to

share on that one day. So I guess, to answer your question, everyone thinks

about how they look and how they present themselves of a member of the

community. As an open member of the community, or not. It's just another, it's a

layer to that onion of, of experience in college.

MYKLEGARD: Walking past the Cru booths

QUARANTA: [grunts]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs] Were there any other spaces or organizations at Tech that

when you heard about them or when you met people that were in them that made you

feel particularly unaccepted?

QUARANTA: Some of the individual fraternities, certainly. I think that, you know,

whereas some fraternities are 00:18:00really great at promoting good work and you know

tolerance, understanding of your fellow man I think that, not to name names, but

like TKE, DKE, and ATO and [laughs]— I'm gonna be a little vulgar but I hooked up

with a member of every single one of those awful fraternities in college. And it

felt so good. Just because you know, behind all that bravado they're really

human beings and I think that those fraternities really missed an opportunity to

get to know one another. You know I think it says something about an

organization that pledges fraternal brotherhood of an organization and they, the members of

said organization's don't feel comfortable saying some of

the most basic truths about themselves. Ridiculous. But other than that and Cru,

no. and really it was 00:19:00more intellectual I never felt physically intimidated or

afraid um I mean I'm a big guy so I don't often feel physically intimidated, but

I don't think I would've even if I weren't. Cru, I just despised their

evangelical mission of— especially considering that I had just gone

through conversion therapy and was still dealing with the fallout from that.

MYKLEGARD: What professors or faculty members were a part of the LGBTA community

at Tech if you remember?

QUARANTA: Susan, Susan Reinhart oh gosh you're testing my old brain. Susan

Reinhart was really great and I really adored that lady. Susana Reinhart. Ed,

whose last name I can't remember off the top of my head, Karen DePauw and Shelli

Fowler who were 00:20:00part of the whole 2003 controversy. The hiring controversy, and

they were great. Have you talked to Shelli Fowler, or has she done one of these?

MYKLEGARD: She, she's definitely been mentioned.

QUARANTA: Make sure you get her Kevin Spacey story it's great.

MYKLEGARD: Okay [laughs]

QUARANTA: I don't know just make sure that's written down somewhere. Cause it is

something else. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: [laughs]

QUARANTA: God, I hope she doesn't get upset at me for saying that. Yeah, the faculty wasn't as involved,

Grant Moss, the

faculty wasn't as involved

as I think I would've expected. But, you know that's a perception from the time

now as an adult I understand, "Oh, you know adults have real lives that are not

connected to the university." Right? And, and I get that. But it still, it

wasn't the most I think involved faculty they didn't come out to meetings or

anything like that. And in fairness, you know I don't think that the LGBTA

students did a 00:21:00really good job of engaging and of reaching out and saying "This

is something we would like to do." I'm pretty sure if the LGBTA had said to the

LGBT caucus, LGBT caucus of the faculty "You know, we want to do an event with

you guys once a month. We wanna do dinner. Show us what it's like to be an

adult" Whatever. I think that the caucus would've jumped at the chance, but

we just never asked. And VT, you know, dominated by a lot of engineers and a lot

of mathematicians and uh, the human interaction I think sometimes is a struggle

for a lot of Virginia Tech faculty and students alike. So I don't think,

whereas at a mostly liberal arts school, that would be an issue and it was at

Virginia Tech.

MYKLEGARD: Were there any other grievances you have in terms of the LG, or LGBT

community while you were at Tech?

QUARANTA: Grievances?

MYKLEGARD: Mhm.

QUARANTA: Uhh

MYKLEGARD: Or anything you'd liked to see improved while you would've been there?

QUARANTA: [sigh] Hm. You know, I mean it was really great I just wish there were

more. I wish there were more gay people to— right after school I went to

work for the human rights campaign and I was their senior field organizer.

Actually, you know with the marriage decision coming down tomorrow it's, it's

pretty incredible I was part of the team that did gay marriage in Massachusetts. I

was on the steps of the State house that day when we won, when we

fucking won. And it's amazing how quick it's all gone by. Anyway I say that to point

out that I've been surrounded by a mostly gay community

since college. And I thrive in it. Actually I struggle in big places 00:22:00 like

this because you know, gayness might stand out in a different way at a big,

actually probably in a very similar way at Virginia Tech, as it did at Virginia

Tech. You know it's sort of like, you're so small that you're, you're being gay

is just like an "Oh." Like it's just there. Whereas you know in living on 17th

street in DC, or working at the human rights campaign, or for a democratic

member of congress or something, that you know there's, there's a community

within a community and it's kind of nice. A clique maybe within a community and

it's kind of nice. Um, excuse me— there wasn't really room for that at VT

because there just wasn't enough of us. Enough people who were outgoing, namely

non architects non engineers.

MYKLEGARD: What sort of activism have you been involved in

since Tech?

QUARANTA: So, uh, huh. You know actually at Tech, at the very end of going to

school there was a group called, I forget what it was called excuse me.

There was a little bit of a trial balloon guy named Jacob Readon did where he

took a bunch of students who were willing to get arrested and we staged a sit-in

at the naval academy. Openly gay students were not allowed on campus, so it was

explicitly it was US Navy property under the— in the pre don't ask don't tell

world you know it was against the rules to be openly

gay on that campus. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was a crazy time. And so

about 40 of us took buses up there, 00:23:00some from Virginia Tech some from UVA, most

were DC students, but we all went up to Annapolis and we all held hands and stood

in front of the gate and refused to let anyone in or out until they let us on

campus. And it was just weird and it was cool and it was fun. Me, Jessie

Wyncowski, Kurtis Don, a couple other kids, Drew Foy. Yes since Virginia Tech,

I've worked at the Human Rights Campaign. I finished up as their

Senior Field Organizer. My job there was pretty cool actually, I basically flew

from city to city building up small LGBT volunteer units I guess to

work on a campaign or to work on a program or lobby or whatever; it was a blast

it was a lot 00:24:00of fun. I did that for about three years. I guess, you know I

was president of the DC young democrats, for the 2012 election and just being— I think

there was one other openly gay president before me, but many years

ago. Certainly I was the first white president of the DC young democrats, cause

it's a majority minority city or at least it was. So being like a white gay man

at the head of an organization that was predominately straight and African

American that was an interesting dynamic. And I felt even though I was not there

to explicitly work on LGBT issues, we were all working on the reelection of the

president I still felt that everyday was a day as a gay man. And being a very

visible one at that. So, yeah those would probably be my forays into activism.

Now I'm just trying to figure out how to make it in Silicon Valley, so. 00:25:00MYKLEGARD: [laughs] Let's backtrack a little bit. Can you detail a little more

about the reversion therapy that you had to go to?

QUARANTA: Sure. I told my mom I was gay December 10th, in the year 2000.

I was getting inducted into the National Junior Honor Society that night and

we'd been yelling and fighting kind of— I've grown up I'm a gay boy I'm

a momma's boy I've always been, but I knew how she felt. And that night I

cried and she cried and I told her I needed to tell her this very

important thing that I was gay. And she said "It's okay, we're going to get

through this." I was so relieved I was like "Oh she said we're 00:26:00gonna get through

this." And I didn't quite realize that her version of getting through it meant

me not being gay anymore. And so she, we went into this therapist with

a very explicit directive of me not being gay, fixing whatever made me

gay. You know she was a Christian therapist whatever. When I

got one on one with this therapist this doctor, she said "You know, look

I'm on the fence as to whether or not someone can completely be cured of being

gay. I mean I think they can live a straight life while still being gay and I

think that's probably the best possible outcome for a lot of 00:27:00folks I see. You

know, this is trying to go a little deeper than that and figure out just what

figure out what ales you if, if there is something." At the same time she was

talking to both my mother, and then when my father was out of jail so also my

father. Frankly spent most of the time working on their issues and

not mine. Which I guess was nice in a way. But it wasn't one of those

crazy ones right? Its not like you know the ones where you know they make you like,

hug a man until you feel comfortable about it. Like the ones you

see on TV—the weird ones, it wasn't anything like that. But it was still a

breech of trust, it was an unforgivable thing. That maybe one day [pauses]

Yeah, I'll tell you what going to college and getting out of 00:28:00that. You know a

lot of people feel oppressed in their parent's home in their late, mid-late

teens and I felt like they had, like my friends had, no idea what it was like to

feel oppressed in their own home. Likewise I wasn't— it's not like

I was being beaten or anything like that I'm sure people have it a lot worse

I'm, I know obviously a lot of people have it a lot worse. I mean total

white suburban problems, right? But still, it was just cruel and unnecessary.

MYKLEGARD: Did you feel like going to college, were you mostly excited about

school or were you more in it for the acceptance and meeting new people?

QUARANTA: Yes the latter, getting the fuck out of Herndon. I mean, look my— Yeah

I was more exited I felt like it was a, it was an opportunity to really just

truly start over. Which is awful when you're like 18 that's not how you should

feel. But that's how I felt. I was like "Oh this is something new this

is something great, exciting and different and I'm going to be able to be

myself." I really thrived I ran for homecoming. I think I came in

like second or third place or something, I loved it there. People loved me

and I had not had that growing up. So it was really an experience.

It was the experience I wanted it to be, certainly.

MYKLEGARD: Alright I just have a few more questions.

QUARANTA: Yeah!

MYKLEGARD: So, what's it been like in the professional world for you in terms of

being an LP, an LGBT member? I don't know why I keep messing up that

QUARANTA: Oh it's fine.

MYKLEGARD: Phrase.

QUARANTA: You've probably said it a million times in the past few weeks. [laughs]

MYKLEGARD: Oh yeah. [laughs] But what has it been like in the professional

world? Do you find that you seek, in whatever company you're working for, some

sort of outlet for LGBT? Or has it just come to you naturally?

QUARANTA: I think I seek out the people. The hardest thing 00:29:00 here

is that there aren't too many openly gay sales people. Don't know why, I think

that it's probably comes from— it's sort of the domino effect of

you know 20 years ago people weren't, you know if you were openly gay you

weren't being accepted into certain positions that stopped you from getting into

a position here, when you were maybe 10 years ago because you had to. I

think that the cascade effect of discrimination against people in the workplace,

LGBT people in the workplace, we're still feeling it today because of the lost

experiences of people who may be ten years older than me had. So I don't have as

many mentors as I wish I did. I think because of that, you look at the sales

organizations around a place like Salesforce and the people who are in

leadership got to leadership through non traditional ways. Again I think it's 00:30:00just a legacy of discrimination in other parts of, not here in Salesforce but at

other places. So, you know I actively have sought other LGBT people, just

because there's a shared experience there. You know my jokes, my gay jokes are

much funnier with gay people than they are with straight people. And there are

just certain like, double entendres that are totally lost on straight people

that you know I could never tell my boss, but I could tell that gay

in the other row. So yeah, you know I've always sought them out.

MYKLEGARD: So, I like to ask this question. It's kind of a weird broad one, so

you can take it however you want. But what would you like future historians to 00:31:00know at Tech?

QUARANTA: You know I would say that the LGBT community at Tech has changed so

much so quickly over the years, you know we look back just into our recent

history when we were students and you know maybe four or five years before we

got there the LGBTA was predominately African American and predominately

lesbian. When I was there it was predominately white gay male. You know it ebbed

and it flowed and it changed and it was very fluid. I think that that's, that

all those little pockets of time are something that would be worth exploring. I

think that I want people to remember that Virginia Tech is more than

just the shooting. You know I mean our community lost people too, 00:32:00but you know

that shouldn't be the end all be all of you know what people think of when they

think of Virginia Tech.

MYKLEGARD: Is there anything that you thought I might ask that I didn't?

QUARANTA: That actually is one I'm surprised, most people when they want to talk

about Virginia Tech wanna talk about that. And I get it right it's a hard thing

to deal with and it's a hard thing to process. You know and yeah. So that's one

I thought. I actually, no I didn't know what to expect you're coming in here.

Yeah, but my time was marked by that. It was a bookend to my experience so I

assumed that was gonna be part of it, I figured that that's why you sought me

out. Um, but no I don't know.

MYKLEGARD: Is there anything else you'd like to add before I stop the recording?

QUARANTA: You know, when I was in my twenties I was always like "Those people

who said college was the best experience of their lives I don't get it. Like yeah I

miss it, but I don't, I don't you know pine for it. I don't understand people

who say it was just the most awesome thing ever." Now that I'm a little bit

older and a little bit further away from it, I understand how truly great of an

experience being at Virginia Tech was. That being gay wasn't an impediment in a

state that typically tried to impede the lives of homosexuals. It was a great

experience, and it was certainly among the best times of my life.

MYKLEGARD: Wonderful. Alright, thank you very much.

QUARANTA: Yeah.