Oral History with Dolly Davis, October 24, 2014 (Ms2015-007)

Partial Transcript: Well, this is Jordan Laney and I’m interviewing Dolly Davis on October 24, 2014 on the campus of Virginia Tech. ...

Segment Synopsis: An introduction to the interview with Dolly Davis.

Keywords: introduction

Partial Transcript: And we want to begin—because we really want to get your story—by asking you where you were raised, and what you remember kind of just about your really earliest memories and upbringing.

Segment Synopsis: Davis discusses her upbringing in New Jersey.

Keywords: New Jersey; family

Partial Transcript: Well, I wanted to come down south, the culture of New Jersey was more of a bubble culture, where people didn’t trust people as much, and I really was yearning to find myself. Growing up I had some issues with my parents, they had some personal issues, and I never really got to understand who I was and Tech was a big part of that for me. Tech was the first time that I really stood on my own two feet, although I was somewhat independent and raised myself for a good portion.

Segment Synopsis: Davis discusses her decision to study architecture, studying first at New Jersey Tech and then transferring to Virginia Tech.

Subjects: New Jersey; Virginia Tech; architecture; education

Partial Transcript: LANEY: Awesome. So, before coming to Virginia Tech, were you part of a LGBT community, or did you know any folks who—

DAVIS: No, a little bit of background there. My dad has, probably to put it in a nice way, has got some preconceptions about all different other nationalities and LGBT folks.

Segment Synopsis: Davis describes the environment she grew up with in New Jersey and at Virginia Tech and finding a space for herself without LGBT support in the community.

Keywords: New Jersey; Virginia Tech; anti-gay sentiments; childhood; family; undergraduate

Partial Transcript: LANEY: Wow. So there weren’t many spaces… so how has your self-identification process evolved or how do you identify now?

DAVIS: That’s a great question, cause all transgender people are different. There’s a spectrum. I don’t represent everybody, I represent myself. All our journeys are different. Just like LGBT folks are different from mainstream, I think you’ve got a spectrum no matter where you go and really the one thing on my journey I’ve realized is everybody’s got their differences and everybody’s got some similarities. And my journey really started after I got out of Tech. That little thing called the internet. Of course, I went through school without the internet, which I’m sure most people now think is ‘wow, how could you do that?’ and I realized that I wasn’t the only one. I realized that there were other people out there that had gender issues and I’d never known what it was like not to have gender issues, I just knew that I’d better hide them or I was going to get picked on or beat up like what I did in school until I “manned up” which is a phrase I really don’t like, you know, just “man up.” Why do I need to be your version of me, why can’t I be my version of me so the internet made me realize I wasn’t the only person.

Segment Synopsis: Davis discusses her struggle to come out as transgender to herself as well as her family and to find support in Virginia, particularly in Roanoke.

Keywords: Richmond; coming out; self-identification process

Partial Transcript: DAVIS: I decided there had to be other transgendered people like me and I wanted for me to get that support but also to give that support back. So I looked around and I wound up connecting with a couple of people and there was two other people that had that same desire and I emailed one person and one person got back in touch with me and what we did was we cofounded a transgender support group early on and it was actually started in Roanoke and in Blacksburg and our first meeting was in the Blacksburg UU Church, and that was like 7, 8 years ago. A girl named Tazzy Zurek and Erica Joyner were the other two co-founders.

Segment Synopsis: Davis discusses her experiences establishing a transgender support group in Blacksburg and Roanoke. In particular, she describes her friendship with Dana Murphy from Virginia Tech and the Lavender Ceremony.

Keywords: Blacksburg; Roanoke; Virginia Tech; transgender support group

Partial Transcript: LANEY: I’ve been kind of keeping up with the healthcare stuff that you’re doing in Roanoke. And I was wondering if you wanted to talk about your activism there and then what your plans are, and possibilities for Tech, and how we can bridge that?

Segment Synopsis: Davis describes cofounding the Ladies and Gents of the Blue Ridge Transgender Alliance in Roanoke, safety and health issues, the Southern Comfort Conference, and working to start a transgender conference at Virginia Tech.

Keywords: Ladies and Gents of the Blue Ridge Transgender Alliance; Roanoke; Southern Comfort Conference; Virginia Tech; healthcare; transgender conference

Partial Transcript: LANEY: Do you want to speak about motherhood at all?

DAVIS: Absolutely yeah, and that was tough. Having kids was something I really wanted, but I waited until 33. I had other things to get over from childhood and I knew that, so me and my wife, we thru-hiked the Appalachian trail, and we said, you know what, we’re going to do that, and when we get back from the hike, we’re going to start a family. And we did. One of the things that had a really big impact on me was when I realized I wasn’t the one pregnant, so to speak. And dealing with the emotions of seeing my wife getting to experience the ups and downs of pregnancy, which there’s a lot. I saw a lot of downs with the morning sickness and the weight gain and the swollen ankles and the mood swings, but also the idea of carrying a life inside of you and having a higher purpose, and knowing that you’re going to help this life along was—I struggled with that. I struggled with that, and that struggle was really—that kicked off a struggle and an enlightenment that was really going to grow and turn into me not being able to be the same ever again. Holding both my children, I’ll never forget doing that, was something very special to me. And I appreciated the father role I had, and being transgender doesn’t mean that you’re all girl or all boy. I’ll never be 100% female and I’ll never be 100% male, no matter how hard I try to be either. So, you know, I have to be balanced. What balance is right for me? Forget what society thinks. I don’t have to, well if I’m transgender, I need to fit into this other hole, if I’m not a square peg, you know, male square peg, if I’m not a female circle peg, I don’t need to go from, I don’t need to shave down and become a circle peg. Maybe I’m an octagon. Maybe somehow I fit differently.

Segment Synopsis: Davis discusses coming out to her wife and daughters and balancing her family responsibilities and activism.

Keywords: coming out; family; marriage; parenting

Partial Transcript: LANEY: I do, too. Do you want to speak about the work you're doing right now in Roanoke? The healthcare?

DAVIS: Sure, sure. There’s so many different—one great thing about being a transgender advocate is there’s no wondering what the needs are. The needs are great. So, one of the things we decided to do is get a statewide project. I decided there needed to be a statewide project to go ahead and identify some of the needs of the community. So, we started two state projects. One was Project Visibility. It was a photo essay to try to humanize the transgender experience. And while we’re doing that, we should probably get facts from all of these people and have a census, and do a transgender census, or survey to see how we can help people the most. Because clearly now I had talked to governor candidates and stuff that we may have an opportunity to talk to these people. So, on this survey, one of the things that came up: jobs, health, education, but healthcare was a big spike. As for me, I couldn’t find a healthcare provider in Roanoke to deal with my transgender issues. I had to go to Richmond.

Segment Synopsis: Davis discusses projects Project Visibility and Transgender Census, about establishing a transgender health clinic/network in Virginia, and assorted healthcare concerns of the transgender community.

Keywords: Carilion Clinic; Roanoke; Virginia Tech; healthcare; transgender advocacy

Partial Transcript: And I was upset. I was real upset and I wound up calling Carilion. And I’d called them before, but I’d just so happened to see a magazine for Carilion’s health, and who was on the front cover, but Nancy Agee, she was the new CEO, and I said you know what. So I called up the general number and left a message on her voicemail and said, and I’m sure she could probably tell I was somewhat upset, but I was very professional, I said, you know, that I’d like to discuss transgender healthcare. There’s a lot of folks in our community that need healthcare. I was just kicked out of my doctor’s office and would love to—well, it went to her, to Trinity Best, which is her vice president, then went down to Eric Earnhart, and long story short, a meeting developed.

Partial Transcript: DAVIS: And I still am in somewhat disbelief in my lifetime that I’ve seen that happen. It’s like saying we went to the moon. You know, playing with a rocket in your backyard and saying ok now we’re on the moon. It’s that big a shift. I really can’t overemphasize that enough. And with all these people in the support groups that cheer you on, but also some of them say “you’re never going to make a difference, Dolly. Dolly, you’re never going to make a difference. I’ve tried, I’ve got burnt out.”

Segment Synopsis: Davis describes the changes the transgender and LGBT community have experienced. She also discusses some of the issues transgender individuals still face.

Keywords: LGBT acceptance; transgender support